Tony's Hollywood Moscow Rules

1. Everyone is potentially under opposition control, especially casting directors.

2. Stay consistent over time, even if you are stereotyped as the slasher/killer.

3. Be nonthreatening; keep them relaxed; mesmerized, then steal the scene.

4. Lull them into a sense of complacency, then burn your contract.

5. Don't harass the opposition, join their cast.

6. Pick the time and the place for action. The paparazzi will be there.

7. Keep your options open; all scripts can be amended.

8. If your gut says to act, overwhelm their senses. 

9. Use misdirection, illusion, and deception. 

10. Once is an accident, twice a coincidence, three times your ex-wife's lawyer.

11. Murphy is right, that's why we are in turn-around again.

12. Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean the barracudas are not out to get you.

13. There is no limit to an actor's ability to rationalize a bad review.

14. Hollywood will always let you down.

15. Assume nothing, trust no-one, and you will get ahead in Hollywood.

16. Don't look back, there is a younger, prettier ingenue in pursuit.